NOTE: MUST BE PERSISTENT AND CAN NOT STOP UNTIL THEY LEAVE.

TECHNIQUE 1: Make this face and stay frozen:

TECHNIQUE 2: Turn into an animal. Can be any of the following:
Dog:

Dolphin:

Turkey:

Velociraptor:

TECHNIQUE 3: Spontaneously turn into Helen Keller:

TECHNIQUE 4: Sing “The Song That Never Ends” until they leave:

TECHNIQUE 5: Spontaneous explosion of emotion:

TECHNIQUE 6: Spontaneous planking:

As a last resort, if none of these techniques work, just forcefully piss or shit in your pants. They’ll get the message.